Pete,
What the fuck? I thought this was going to be a temporary thing? You needed a place to crash; I had a spare nose, we both agreed it was going to be a couple of days. A week tops. But it’s been three weeks now. What’s up? Dude, all you do is lie around all day and embarrass me when my friends are around. You’d think someone would take a hint when you’ve got him squashed between your middle and your index, but no. Instead, he makes an even bigger mess on your face. And didn’t we agree that you were going to take just that one tiny corner on my nose? Now you’re acting like you own the freaking place and it’s totally cramping my style. I want my nose back, Peter. I want to be able to hang out with my friends again, and to meet new people. Gimme back my life! Please, I’m begging you. Look Pete, I don’t want this to turn out any more ugly than it already is. So let’s just settle this like two civilized adults. I’m going to tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to bed early tonight and in the morning, I expect to see you gone.
C
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