Field Day

Explaining Indie to My Friend Mark with Refrains From Imaginary Indie Songs

Mixtape! Mixtape! Mixtape!
Mixtape for your birthday.
Mixtape for our anniversary.
Mixtape for when I’m sorry.
– Mixtape

Say you wanna come back to my place.
Say you wanna hear me play my guitar.
I’ve written you this special song.
It’s special cos I’ve avoided the chords:
A, G, D, Em, and C.
– Chords By Heart

You can file ’em under Genre.
You can file ’em under Labels.
You can even file ’em Alphabetically.
Just don’t file bands with the article “The” under T.
– The The

What if she says no?
What if she ignores me?
What if she breaks my heart?
Why does it have to be this complicated?
I think I’ll just masturbate.
– Talk To Her

***

Hefner had a really good run then the French came along and they became all Casio-y. I do enjoy the occasional Casio sound but you can always tell a song written on a guitar but played on a Casio. The tune’s potential is often tragically lost in transcription.

Hefner – “Love Will Destroy Us In The End”

Shameless Plug

This here’s for all to sample, loop. slice, rap over, or simply diss.

Spotless – “When You’re Drunk.”

Timesaving Tips From The Guy with a Laptop at Starbucks

The guy with a laptop at Starbucks just wants you to know that you don’t have to spend your coffee break time on idle banter and free weeklies. No. With a laptop and these timesaving tips, you too can take your coffee break time to the next level and stay on top of your game. It’s easy, if you only apply yourself.
Time it takes for Windows to start up = time it takes to tear the tin foil off your cream cheese spread. If you can’t find a dog-eared corner on your cream cheese spread for easy access, load Norton Anti-virus before returning to your cream cheese spread with a knife.
Time it takes for Word to do a grammar check = time it takes to empty two sachets of sugar. With practice, you could maybe do three sachets in the given time.
Time it takes for Excel to compute five columns and seven rows = time it takes to spread cream cheese over one half of a bagel. Note, if you’re on Windows XP, the guy with a laptop at Starbucks recommends a metal knife over a plastic one. This way, you can shed a couple of seconds off spreading without running the risk of breaking your plastic knife.
Time it takes for Centrino to load a typical web page (we ran Reuters’ Homepage for our tests) = time it takes to wipe your mouth with a paper napkin, fold, and wipe again. Note, that these are approximate figures. We have yet to factor in the speed of your coffee shop’s Internet provider and the size of your mouth.
Time it takes to save a thirty-page PowerPoint file = time it takes to finish half a blueberry muffin. This excludes the time it takes to pick up the muffin crumbs. For that, the guy with a laptop at Starbucks recommends a spoon and some butter. Simply apply generous amounts of butter on your spoon (depending on how much crumbs you’ve… crumbled), and pick them crumbs with your buttered spoon. Margarine works as well. If you find crumbs on your keyboard, be sure to blow them off first.

Good luck and see y’all latte.

***

Dude, what’s up with your affinity for acoustic takes on songs? There was that Postal Service tune from Iron and Wine a while back and now this. You really ought to embrace technology a little more. Technology good. Technology friend.

Flaming Lips, The – “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots”